Isarian Menoptra's Tumblr

50,911 notes

Raising a child is like taking care of someone who’s on way too many shrooms, while you yourself are on a moderate amount of shrooms. I am not confident in my decisions, but I know you should not be eating a mousepad.

Ron Funches (via lazybookreviews)

I CAN’T EMPHASISE ENOUGH HOW ACCURATE THIS IS.

(via perfectlittleprince)

(via lotuscorvus)

111,348 notes

DC:
Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
Marvel:
YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
DC:
We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
Marvel:
HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
DC:
The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
Marvel:
DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
DC:
After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
Marvel:
PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
DC:
We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
Marvel:
NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
DC:
We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
Marvel:
NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
DC:
We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
Marvel:
FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
DC:
Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
Marvel:
NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
DC:
Wait-
Marvel:
NEW FEMALE THOR
DC:
I didn't-
Marvel:
NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
Marvel:
TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
Marvel:
PEACE

22 notes

Let jealousy be your teacher. Jealousy can lead you to the very places where you most need healing. It can be your guide into your own dark side and show you the way to total self-realization. Jealousy can teach you how to live in peace with yourself and with the whole world if you let it.
Deborah Anapol, Love without Limits (via vijara)

(Source: vijara, via myfoundpolyamory)